It Was Like a Candle

It was like a candle.  One tiny light lost in a shadow of black forever long.  Slowly, slowly, flickering away.
Perhaps it was a star. One of those reddish ones just ready to die.
Or maybe it was the expulsion of the ship as it left us behind.
But no matter what else it was, it was hope.  And hope has left us.
Left me.
To die.

I never would have dreamed of leaving in one of those shells.  Especially not after the last dozen of them have been blown to shreds by the blockade.  But now it is a choice between a long death and a quick one.  At least there used to be a choice, until now.  Because the last ship’s left.
They’re singing the dirge in the street.  They’re leaving the city.  They’re trying to find a decent place die.
But the sky has turned to dust and it falls to the ground and sinks into our lungs.  They won’t get far.
And don’t they know this whole planet is the same city.  All the way around.
Where is there to go?

The sun has gone cold.  The stars are blinking out one by one. The blockade is getting closer, circling around us. Tighter.
Tighter.
Soon they’ll ink the sky.  Turn what little air is left into darkness.  Tangible darkness. To suffocate the life and the ground and the engines.
I long for the light already.

Sky and earth and me. Dark.
They’ve landed here now.  With their shaded masks and red, red hands. Why do they hide their faces?
I have a number on my head.  They gave me one. This number.  I didn’t have a choice.
001201
Twelve oh one.
Huddled in a room full of filth and stink and fear.  I’m chained.  And I’m trembling.  Shivering. Dying.
I can’t breathe this air they’ve made.
Coughing only makes it worse.  But my lungs, they’re so heavy.  Like the whole world sits inside my chest.

Maybe I’m dreaming.  Or maybe I’m dead.
Breath in.  And out.
Eyes flutter for a moment.  And open.
There.  In the distance.  I see a gleam.
Like a reflection of a reflection of a distant star.
But there are no stars.  Not here.  Not now.
Is it real?
I move to touch it.  Nothing holds me back.  The chains they’re gone.  And this room is empty too.
Like the pressure’s been released, I run.
I run.
Forever.
And never any closer.
The star, my starlight, keeps dancing out of reach.
“I’ll find you.”
And I stop.
“I’ll find you.”
Words.  Like and echo in my head.
“I’ll find you.”
Bouncing between my ears.  Sinking to my throat.
“Find me.” I whisper.

I feel it.  Knives in my arms, on my chest. Cutting.  Cutting deep.
But there’s nothing here in front of me.  Just the star that I can never catch.  I must have run for days.
I close my eyes.  Blackness overwhelms me.
Spinning.  I’m spinning like a top.
And I fall.
Falling down a thousand miles and nothing there to catch me.
Screams catch in my throat.
Pain rips through my chest and I jump.

Awake.
Alive.
And tied to a table.
Still darkness.  And still that little light.
But now it’s above me.  Strapped to the head of one of them.  One of them with the red, red hands.
And his eyes are green and golden flecked.  And they’re looking down at my chest.
I look down too.
And if I could breathe, I’d gasp. But I can’t, because there’s nothing there.
Three pairs of red, red hands are taking me apart.